This life is a spiritual struggle. To conquer or to be conquered! If we conquer, we will enjoy the fruits of victory through all eternity. If we are defeated, we will endure the horrors of destruction through all eternity. This life is a duel between man and all that opposes God. God is an almighty Ally to all who sincerely call upon Him for help. ” This life is not a joke or a plaything,” says Father John of Kronstadt, ‘but men turn it into a joke and plaything. The capricious play around with the time given to us for preparing for eternity; they play around with empty words. They gather together as guests, they sit and chatter and after that they sit and play this or that game. They gather in theaters, and there they entertain themselves. All of life is an amusement for them. But woe unto them who do nothing but entertain themselves!”

St. Nikolai Velimirovoc

What a great reflection to ponder on while we go on about our daily lives. How easily are we distracted by media and worldly cares. Even if we walk into McDonald’s there are TV screens. The other day I pulled up to a gas station and my son in the back seat was fascinated by the flashy screen that was showing the latest entertainment gossip while I was pumping gas, all in a short section just enough  time to get into your head the headlines that don’t matter. It is at these times that when I read things that were written centuries ago makes me really realize that the book of Proverbs is true when it sates “vanity vanity, all is vanity. There is nothing new under the sun.” Lent 2014 024



As I get my fingers dirty in this world of motherhood, I start rethinking about what my priorities are. It seems like when I was single, life was so fast and nothing that I wanted to do could be stopped. Now everything that I wanted to do has stopped and focused on a little tiny person that has changed my life completely. I do not mind this change of heart. It makes me realize that all my plans that were made previous were not as important as this commitment called motherhood. Even if I do work on 4 hours of sleep and have a meltdown when I realize there is no more coffee in the house. I have not been thankful lately. I have been taking for granted everything that has been given to me. Thank God for His endless mercy. Without it I would have perished a long time ago.

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There once was a cat named Trouble…

From the first moment I saw his little button eyes I knew he was going to be trouble. His name fits him perfectly. He is Trouble. It is true what they say that things live up to their name. I should have thought ahead before naming a cat Trouble but oh well. Yes I used to make fun of him while he was a kitten and could not meow, but now he is making up for all that and never stops his roar. Yes, this is my cat Trouble, he wakes up my child every time he takes a nap and goes to sleep for the night. “It’s too much to be a coincidence,” says my husband. Maybe he is some special cat, I mean he was adopted off the streets of Long Beach from a crazy cat lady that was giving kittens away. He did circle around his brother until his brother was adopted with him. Too smart? Maybe. Yes, this little fur ball might look cute but definitely causes too much trouble sometimes. My little furry pal. This post is for you.

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Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there! It is now being a mother that I realize how important it is to say thank you to our mothers for taking care of us feeding us sheltering us and never stopping loving us. To the great warriors out there have a blessed day!

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Babies babies babies!

A very good friend of ours is having twins and asked my husband and I to be Godparents to one of their boys. Well what an honer… except that I do not know the first thing about organizing any kind of baby shower event. Thankfully the Godmother that she had chosen for her other boy is very aware of what needs to be done for such an even. She put me in charge of a few items such as games and thank you baggies. I started having a total meltdown when I realized that I have never accomplished putting together such items in my life. How am I ever going to be a good mother that organizes lunch boxes for her kids is what came into my mind. Hence the meltdown.

I am not what you would call a girly girl. It is thanks to God and His mercy I have a son as a first child since I would not know what to do at all with trying to be girly. I jumped out of airplanes for fun (parachute included) dived the deep seas over 100 ft down (almost died a few times, my cat lives are running out) and jumped off a bridge (bungee cord included). Yes organizing an even and games is not in my nature.

With Google being my best friend in times of crisis, tomorrow is the day of the big bay shower event. “Mom is having to get out of her comfort zone” says my husband to my 6 month old boy that is staring blankly at me as I put together thank you gifts. Yes that statement says it all.

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Work work work

Yes everyone it is that time again. After being on a work hiatus due to my first child being born, it is time for this mom to start looking for a job again. Yes I do dread going back to work since it has been very nice to be able to stay at home and take care of this little guy. However, we live in California where the rent is high and the salaries are low. How are moms able to stay at home and just be moms? One of many questions that wanders in my head as I try to schedule interviews and find care for my son with a trusted family member at the same time. I try not to have too many questions crowd my head nowadays since they do have the tendency to drive me mad with worry.

One day I do hope to stay at home and just be a mom. Yes that will also bring on a new set of sacrifices that will come my way. For me there is no better job than to stay at home and raise children, cook some lunch and dinner and snacks for the family, plan activities, be part of the PTA maybe? Who knows… maybe one day God willing. My crazzzy life 069

Post Pascha blues

Yes the glorious Pascha. We have made it. We have fasted over 40 days and have reached the celebration that is the feast of feasts. Yet every year without fail more and more people that I talk to seem to confirm the feeling that I always seem to receive along with this Pascha season. Our priest calls it the “post Pascha blues.” All the services are now back to their normal schedule, the length of the services is no longer 4 hours and every year it feels so lonely to me. Here we are celebrating the Resurrection of Christ yet I always seem to loose the joy very fast. The everyday woes of life always catch up to me faster then I can notice them and I get just stuck in a funk. How do we keep the joy of the Resurrection with us?

It is the question that may take my whole life to answer, maybe that is why we do have Lent and Pascha every year. During our recent trip to the monastery I noticed how easy it was to get back to everyday cares right when we started driving back and hit a few gas stations. How easy it is to start caring about entertainment and food. The joy of simplicity is hard to keep. The joy of Pascha seems to be swept up and I start dealing with post Pascha blues and try to get the joy, as well as keep the joy, for as long as I can.  Platina 2014 048