Future 

  
As a mother I believe now how it is hard to see your kids grow up. Lately our household has turned into an episode of Supernanny. If any of you have seen that show then you know how chaotic those families are and one main reason one would watch that show is to feel a bit better about their own parenting skills.

I am now forced to look at the big D word… Discipline. Let me just state one thing. It breaks your heart into millions of pieces when your kid is crying hysterically even if it is over spilled milk. (Yes that has happened this week) It is also very hard to have your kid be in time out and your whole plan of going out ruined because of a meltdown. Yes, now I know why parent do not want to discipline and just walk away from situations and ignore tantrums. 

Talking with other moms and reading a bunch of parenting books all of which say completely different things I am forced to look into the future and ask myself the questions I thought I never would. What is the right thing to do with meltdowns? Time out vs spanking? What are biggies and what are smallies with tantrums?

It seems now more than ever I do not know what to do in parenting. Have I ever? Maybe not. For now my husband and I will just act as if we do know what we are doing and drink our beer at the end of the day.

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Scene of the crime

  
As I sit quietly in my apartment while feeding my infant I hear a horrific scream from my oldest son who is playing outside with the next door neighbor.

As both me and my husband run towards him to see what is wrong we look down at his hand and realize that our son just got bit by the neighbors kid! What is a parent to do in the situation really? 

Thankfully the father of the child was really mad at his son and made sure he knew that biting is not an ok action to share with friends. 

While I listened to world war 3 (toddler version) waves pass into a calming stream I realized that my son is loosing his innocence.

He will soon be learning bad traits from kids and know that biting is not ok and maybe bite someone back. He will soon start defending himself because the world will bring experience his way. 

In the middle of all the drama I couldn’t help but think ahead in life  and appreciate this small battle he had to fight today. 

Yes they grow up too fast.

My tree of life

  
We went out exploring today outside our seminary bubble and decided to join a playgroup for some forest play fun. 

As I was looking at my infant gazing around I looked up to see his view and this is the result. My attempt at turning it into black and white remind me of what I read a while ago how infants only see in black and white. 

I call this my tree of life.

Tree

  
Yet another beautiful day here in New York. People tempt us with their indoor play dates… But honestly how much longer are we going to be able to go outside for long periods of time? 

When winter comes maybe I will take them up on their offers. For now however, we are going to ride off into the sunset. 

  

Battle

  
It seems lately that my house has become a battleground. My oldest son is refusing to take naps in the day and is really restless because of it. He has also developed a habit of peeing on the bed. For no apparent reason really. Maybe he thinks he is a puppy. 

Of course it is fitting for him to be looking at a sword book and teaching his younger brother battle tactics. 

“Chaaaarrge!” He yells as he holds his own sword and tells me to run after him. 

“Oh honey if only I can have your energy,” I think to myself as I lay there on the couch drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. I am beginning to think coffee has lost its effect on me or maybe it’s not strong enough. Whatever the reason I now drink coffee like water at 5pm and still can crash on the couch by 9pm.

Whoever wants to argue that motherhood is not at all hard and that we lay around all day doing nothing, can talk to me about what it’s like to clean up pee everyday (and try not to be mad) waking up at 4am everyday and dealing with a complaining toddler because he didn’t get his nap. No guarantees I will listen.