Thanksgiving 

        
After rushing to the urgent care with my infat I knew this was going to be bad news thanksgiving after the doctor diagnosed him with croup. 

As I watch my little bear cub receiving his second inhalation treatment I loose it and start crying. He came into the world unexpectedly and every single memory of that horrific day came flashing back. All the stress came back of not being able to help him like I wanted, to make his pain go away, to have him smile at me. 

Yes this thanksgiving I spend in urgent care with my 4 month old son, and maybe I needed to have this experience to grow as a human.

Most of all tonight after finally getting home and finally having this little man sleep, I am truly thankful for my family and friends. All the people that support me and encourage me. That give me strength and laughter. I’m thankful for the health of my family and friends. I am thankful for life.

Enjoy your day everyone.

NY bday

   
   
As we walk toward the train station we know it’s going to be a hard day but worth it cause it’s our sons 2nd bday.

He loves trains so we ride one to grand central station so his choo choo is a reality. We get to the city and have to deal with a toddler potty meltdown right in the middle of grand central. Yes we were those parents trying to calm him down when in reality he wasn’t going to. My husband and I look at each other and already want to go back home. 

We push through, get to Bryant Park and look at the ice skaters for a while and eat lunch. Nap time is coming up and the city is too busy for my son to fall asleep in the stroller so we head to the library for an attempt to put him on the potty again. 

Fail. He has a thing about going in public. At this point my son just crashes. “When he wakes up I’m just going to make him go,” says my husband. Right.

At least he’s asleep and so is our 4 month old so horrraayyy we get a quiet moment as parents at the library! We go towards the photography section and get a well deserved parent break and feel like normal people.

The beast wakes up, potty break a success. We head out to find our son a bday cupcake. We find Magnolia Bakery next to Rockefeller plaza. But wait we don’t have a candle! 

We get a cake and pie “do you have candles?” I ask. “Yes but we are out right now.” How does that happen?! Only in NY a bakery runs out of candles.

We get a candle from a pharmacy we find. Head back to Bryant Park. Sing a happy birthday song and my son blows out the candles. But wait they relight! We accidentally got trick candles! 

We are ready to head back home. Get to grand central and deal with yet another potty meltdown in a stall this time with people yelling outside at a lady that’s taking too long in the handicap stall. 

Alright all over we get our tickets and I loose my husband in the middle of grand central station in the middle of 5pm rush and my phone has no service. I figured as long as I stood there in the same place he is bound to come back.

Husband comes back we are on the train at last and start going home. Conductor comes by to check tickets. And what do you think could top this day off? A lost ticket. Yep we lost my ticket for the train. 

Thankfully the conductor never comes back to check my ticket again and we don’t get kicked off the train in the middle of Harlem at night. 

As we walk back home from the train station my husband and I look at each other and say “yes this was a hard day and he probably would have been happy just riding his new bike.” 

Yes true but he could do that every day at least he got to spend his 2nd bday in NY city. Maybe it was more for the parents since he will not remember this day. But it was worth it. There is always pictures to remind him.

To my son…

  
How could I ever imagine that two years ago today I would become a mom? I didn’t. My contractions started while we were watching Robin Hood and it was a foggy night. 

We drove to the hospital and it took all night full of pain for you to be born the next morning. When you came out tears filled my face and my whole life changed. 

I would have never known this feeling back in my first ultrasound appointment when you were just a peanut what motherhood was like. I did not want to ever go back to work but just be at home and be there for you.

Yes there were sleepless nights and lots of struggle but overall I can honestly say that I have never regretted becoming a mother. I am glad you came into the world. Thank you for being my son. Happy two year birthday. May God grant you many many years. 

Mom

Outcast

  
Once a week my sons and I go to this meetup group to play in a forest with a bunch of like minded parents that want a different experience for their kids.

My son was having a good time today running away from me and climbing hills he was not supposed to, while I attempted to change him and have a good time. 

Things changed when his brother woke up from his extra long nap and wanted to eat right away. Yes toddlers have no patience and newborns have no patience. 

My son was climbing a hill that he was determined to break his head on when I stepped in to get him down so I can post somewhere safe to feed his brother. 

“Noooooo, no, noooooo,” he yells of course. He wants what he wants when he wants it he is two. 

“No we are going down so your brother can eat,” I say trying to remain calm in front of the attachment parenting people that are staring at my parenting style.

“Do you need help?” One asks.

“No it’s ok I just need to get down,” I lie.

My son is crying having a full on temper tantrum at this point all while still standing on a hill and is now trying to hit his mother to get his way. Big no no.

Finally I give off my newborn to another parent and grab my two year old and drag him down the hill to put him into time out for the hitting. He is crying while standing there in time out and people keep staring at me with looks on their faces like how can I allow my child to stand there and cry!

Phewww finally I get control of my emotions and grab my now crying newborn back. I tell my two year old to come to me and give him a hug and say “no hitting.”

Everyone is calm and walking towards our things. “You know there’s this book you should read about playing with your kids and being part of their world and not using discipline.” 

Right. No time out for hitting. Not my cup of tea thank you.